Mo’ Money, Part I

By Mark Rosewater
Welcome to Money Week! Finally, I get to write the column that I’ve been hinting at for months. How exactly did we come up with the idea to create the new “money” card type? I’m glad you asked.
It all began when Richard Garfield came up with the original design for Magic. At its core, […]

Wizards Invents New Tense

Grammar lovers around the world were thrilled when Wizards of the Coast spokeswoman Tina Gaffney announced Sunday the invention of a new grammatical tense, the imperious perfect.
“We’re very proud of this linguistic development,” she said.
Gaffney demonstrated for reporters by tapping three forests and summoning a thin being with horns and pointed ears. “Please demonstrate the imperious […]

Lorwyn, Kamigawa Naming Expert Speaks To Public For First Time

SUNNYVALE, Calif. — The elusive Wizards of the Coast naming expert responsible for the card names in the recent Kamigawa and Lorwyn blocks spoke recently to The Magic Lampoon in an exclusive interview.
The expert, a tiny fellow with pointy ears who introduces himself as Eepertwitter Spindlechirp, lives in a cozy burrow excavated from a hillside, called Windbrisk Heights. […]

Mark Rosewater Fixes Magic Lampoon By Assigning Jokes To Color Pie

RENTON, Wash. — In a surprise announcement, Mark Rosewater announced Thursday that he would be quitting his current position at Wizards of the Coast to move to a new creative position at The Magic Lampoon.
Rosewater said he planned to shake things up at the Lampoon by assigning jokes to the color pie.
“Their main problem? Not enough constraints. Constraints breed […]