Sneak Peek – From The Vault: Squire

Posted on March 11, 2009
Filed Under Articles, Photochops, V. Wedge | 9 Comments

By Mark Purvis

Special to The Magic Lampoon

Guess what, collectors! The 15-and-a-half anniversary of Wizards of the Coast is just around the corner, and we’re ready to celebrate in style. How? With 15-and-a-half lovingly designed foil tributes to Squire, whose power and toughness, at 1/2, kind of looks like the mathematical symbol for “one half.”

We’re not just reprinting Squire himself (although you won’t believe how slick he looks as a textless foil). We also have some brand new takes on the intellectual property.  Have a look at this hot little number:


Are you drooling yet? It’s okay if you really are drooling, because we expected you to be.  Now how about this card:


Can you believe we are printing such fanservice? You have probably already decided to buy a playset of this amazing collection! But there is even more heavenly goodness to be found:


Hopefully you have not just fainted from sheer excitement, because we have so much more to show you!


Most likely, you can scarcely sit still at this point, due to severe heart palpitations! We are sympathetic, but will not relent in showering Squirey goodness upon you!


Have a friend or family member resuscitate you if need be, because there is still one more card we are leaking from this amazing collection!


We have the local mortuary’s phone number on speed dial in case you have literally died of enjoyment while reading this.

Look for the full 15-card set this April, for $34.99.

Comments

9 Responses to “Sneak Peek – From The Vault: Squire”

  1. vandwedge on March 11th, 2009 4:52 pm

    Would it be possible to have the full-sized images in the article, instead of clickable thumbnails, so as to better resemble WotC’s own article style?

  2. Basilisk on March 11th, 2009 7:13 pm

    This is great. I did not literally die of enjoyment, thankfully.

  3. The Previous Poster on March 12th, 2009 4:46 am

    Bloody awesome wedgums. The only thing missing is the squireling :)

  4. vandwedge on March 12th, 2009 5:51 am

    Do you mean that as a changeling variant of squire, or a morphling variant of squire. Either way, I’m kicking myself for not thinking of it.

  5. The Previous Poster on March 13th, 2009 10:24 am

    Re: your question: entwine!

    There’s also Maro’s squirrel obsession to lampoon using squir(r)e. Possibly some deranged hermit variant (there’s some extra Chaucer kickback in there if it’s a mad monk instead)

  6. Squirefan on June 2nd, 2009 7:40 am

    Surprise, I’m a Squire 1W
    Creature – Squire
    Morph 1W
    1/2

  7. CB on August 19th, 2009 12:59 pm

    @Squirefan

    By Odin’s beard… I would play Surprise, I’m a Squire for the sheer pleasure of witnessing the look on my opponent’s face when I morph it.

    Good one!

    Oh, and the sparklies on Bringer of the Squire Dawn remind me of that ridiculous hack, Stephenie Meyer. If I never again have to hear “you should read the books/watch the movie! they’re soooo goood!” it will be too soon.

  8. Car-o-phage on November 26th, 2009 8:09 am

    I nearly died… of laughter…XD… oh, no. the horror!

  9. dragonhuman on April 8th, 2010 9:21 pm

    form of squired is overpowered, as long as remains on the board you can’t lose the game because your health will be 2 at the end of the turn (even if you took oo damage)

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