Rescuers Work To Free Hasbro Executives Buried Under Pile Of Money

Posted on December 27, 2007
Filed Under Articles, Flashbacks, Staff |

Originally ran on MiseTings, Jan. 12, 2004

PAWTUCKET, R.I. — Emergency workers struggled throughout Monday evening to reach three Hasbro executives believed to be alive and trapped underneath an enormous pile of money at the company’s headquarters.

The avalanche of money fell onto the missing executives Monday afternoon when a two-story divider wall collapsed from the weight of crisp, new 10s, 20s and 100s leaning against it in another room.

Four other Hasbro employees were struck by the mountain of bills but escaped serious injury.

“It was like a Jokulhlaups of money,” said one worker.

County emergency services personnel brought in sniffer dogs to locate the three men, believed to have been walking near the wall when it collapsed.

“You can see from the construction of this wall that it was never meant to bear any heavy load, whether shelving, or hanging structures, or a towering, teetering mass of greenbacks,” said emergency services spokeswoman Tina Gaffney.

Building workers should have recognized the danger, she said.

“This obscenely enormous pile must have weighed upward of 16 tons,” she said. “But it’s soft and flows somewhat like water, so we believe the executives are most likely still alive, possibly counting the money even as we speak.”

An employee of Hasbro subsidiary Wizards of the Coast said that he had repeatedly warned Hasbro officials of the dangerous situation the pile of money was creating.

“I told them a million times, they need to do something with the money,” said the employee, who asked to remain anonymous. “You know, like buy us all Lamborghinis again or something. Not just leave the money sitting there in a beautiful mountain.”

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