Ancient (Mono) Artifact Fetches 2000000 Space-Tix At Auction

Posted on December 20, 2007
Filed Under Articles, Photochops, Flashbacks, Basilisk, Contest Winners, Phodos |

Originally ran Dec. 26, 2005

Wrgl Tarkon-Fuentes, Newgarfieldtownshire, November 80th, 80085 VD

The FindMagicCards.com Building was abuzz yesterday regarding the incredible price fetched by the extremely rare nondigital card “The Black Lotus.” The Sons of Buehler Clan auctioned their legendary “The Black Lotus” to the Lapmasters of Long Clan for an unprecedented 2000000 space-tix. This huge space-tix transfer will allow The Sons to replace their aging armory of brain lasers and invest in new Magic Online accounts.

Space-Colonel Jack Ng had this to say in an online space-interview, “Without these new brain lasers we would not be able to feed our space-families. The new brain lasers will be used to kill the Nubs we rely on to make space-burgers and nutrient-juice.” Space-Colonel Ng added, “The Magic Online accounts are necessary for communications between our space-colonies, and to test our MUC decks. Ng Out LOL”

According to space-scientists, the “The Black Lotus” gained notoriety due to the fact it is made from paper, a by-product of a long-extinct beast, known as “Trees.” Shrouded in myth and conjecture, “The Black Lotus” and its abilities were recently revealed.

Magic Online Historian Dr. Gekky Weaselbutt recently published in his latest thesis, “The rediscovery of the Lotus as a card was a bit of a disappointment for space-people born after The Great Power Creep of the 215th Century when Maro’s Brain-in-a-jar slew Gleemax. If a player really needs to add mana to their pool to combat Nubs they could use the much quicker Grak’s Managoonz or the common Space Lands. What is of note is the Lotus is an artifact without a subtype צ, unknown since 31337 VD.”

The winner of the auction, Lapmasters of Long, is a very wealthy Magic Online Clan. Much of their fortune has been gained selling “Winning Space-Secrets©” to the alien race known as Nubs. What the Lapmasters plan on doing with “The Black Lotus” is anyone’s guess. Lapmaster’s chairman, a virus known as Mike.EXE, put out this press release:

“MAGIC SECRETS REVEALED! Internal Space Server Error: Please send the file 80085_80_176_NOV.rtfm to space-support@space-wotc.com. EXE Out LOL.”

Tarkon-Fuentes Out LOL

Is our space-food safe?: brain lasers and you

Mike.EXE virus spreads with help from Nubs

Maro’s Brain-in-a-jar gives itself raise, promotes “to stay competitive”

צ SRC:12004th Edition Comprehensive Rules