Sorry, I Have To Go Help Some Douche
Posted on December 3, 2007
Filed Under Articles, Contest Winners, V. Wedge |
By Ajani Goldmane
Yeah? Oh yeah? And then what happened? Oh wow! That’s insane! No way! And then what’d he do? You’re kidding! With the g– oh, wait, hold on a second. I think somebody just spent four mana for me somewhere. I’m sorry, I have to get out of here. I need to go help out this douche.
Yes, I know we’re in the middle of a conversation. And I know I haven’t seen you in two months. It’s just that this guy just spent four mana on me, and I have to go help him now. Yes, I know how that sounds. No, I don’t think it’s silly. You don’t understand. I’m loyal to him now.
No, I don’t know who he is. No, I’ve never met him before. No, he doesn’t live in the same plane as us.
Of course I remember what happened to me on my last interdimensional trip! I don’t want to talk about it, okay? He’s waiting for me!
Well maybe four mana isn’t a lot to you, but it is a lot to me. There are some things I’ve been wanting to cast lately, and I think four mana would help out a lot. I don’t know, lots of things! None-of-your-business things, that’s what kind of things!
When’s the last time you spent four mana on me?
No. No. No! Listen, I have to go, alright?
No, you can’t buy me another drink!
Ajani Goldmane is a Magic Lampoon correspondent.
Comments
14 Responses to “Sorry, I Have To Go Help Some Douche”
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.
-
Submissions
-
Search
-
Admin
this is the last one ever isn’t it ;_;
Last one what?
FOR FUCK’S SAKE PEPPER LEARN TO READ
ahem
I like the direction this went in. I had not considered that.
Really awesome!
I had a similar idea, but I don’t think I could have done it as well
Really well-done! I had considered a similar idea but I’m glad I didn’t go with it because I probably wouldn’t have been able to pull it off so well
Somehow my comments do not show up - how odd.
That’s because until you’ve had one comment approved, your comments don’t show up. Now that you’ve had one approved, you should see them right away. This prevents adbots.
That’s fine for you, but what about us adbots?
ok so we get to see the runner ups
but then it’s over ;_;
Also I r posting on teh lampoon
ok so we get to see the runners up and then lampoon is off to the nursing home
oh you’ll visit at first but soon you’ll leave it to fester with it’s bed sores and old people smell
my comments are blinking in and out of existence @_@
>__________________
It is my obligation to inadvertantly shit up a thread here one last time
just stfu tia