Wizards Invents New Tense

Posted on November 11, 2007
Filed Under Articles, The Previous Poster |

Grammar lovers around the world were thrilled when Wizards of the Coast spokeswoman Tina Gaffney announced Sunday the invention of a new grammatical tense, the imperious perfect.

“We’re very proud of this linguistic development,” she said.

Gaffney demonstrated for reporters by tapping three forests and summoning a thin being with horns and pointed ears. “Please demonstrate the imperious perfect,” Gaffney said.

“We are not amused,” said the being, who then gracefully put a 1/1 green elf warrior into play.

“We will lead you to purge the ugly. Come, my follower!” the being added, giving the elf warrior token +1/+1.

“While the imperious perfect has been an unofficial favourite of royalty throughout history, most famously Her Royal Majesty Victoria, Queen of England and Empress of India, it is only now that our language technicians have been able to correctly isolate and name it,” Gaffney said.

Wizards of the Coast officials could not be reached for comment on the ensuing fracas.

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