Operation: Humiliate Players Enters Fourth ‘Delicious’ Year

Posted on September 4, 2007
Filed Under Articles, Special Reports, Flashbacks, Staff |

De Rosa.jpg

Originally ran Sept. 17, 2005

RENTON, Wash. — Officials at Magic: TheGathering maker Wizards of the Coast announced Saturday that with the upcoming release of pro player cards, Operation: Humiliate Players had entered its fourth “exciting and delicious” year.

“These cards, which capture players as figures of fun, are exactly what is needed to move forward into a new dawn of making Magic: The Gathering as embarrassing as possible for as many people as possible,” said Wizards of the Coast spokeswoman Tina Gaffney.

“Here we see Antonio de Rosa, illustrated as the classic ‘Jester’ or ‘Fool’ archetype, a figure dating back to the early days of The Tarot,” Gaffney said. “With this depiction, he debases himself, the spectator and all of Magic: The Gathering. You may ask yourself: Whom does he mock? The viewer? Himself?

“Who stands to benefit from this? Who gains?” she asked.

“No one,” Gaffney said triumphantly.

Gaffney said the operation began in 2002, with the release of the Voidmage Prodigy card, which depicted legendary champion player Kai Budde as an awkward and tasteless medieval fashion victim.

“Putting a dancing and unbalanced Kai Budde into play was already deliciously distasteful enough for players,” Gaffney said. “It was our triumph. He was a Don Quixote, madly tilting at an unseen windmill, and yet without dignity or valor.

“Now imagine how players will feel when a young child puts an Osyp Lebedowicz card, fists comically and embarrassingly upraised, on the table as some sort of token. The result will be delectable ridicule, for everyone involved — spectators and players alike.”

The pro player cards will be found in Ravnica tournament packs, Gaffney said.

“Ravnica will be one of the greatest sets, or blocks even, ever seen in Magic: The Gathering,” Gaffney said. “It will feature cards with astonishing art, especially the lands. It will bring a unique perspective to drafting. There will be exciting cards for all sorts of players, from casual to competitive.

“Now imagine that this greatness has been smeared over by something disgusting. I won’t say what. Use your imagination,” she said.

“Take that, Beauty,” she said.

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